


starlight

by Areiton



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 09:42:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19331992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Areiton/pseuds/Areiton
Summary: When Tony was young--he loved the stars.





	starlight

**Author's Note:**

> It's my birthday, so have fic! <3

When Tony was young--young enough that he didn’t yet know what it meant to be a Stark, that his destiny was blood soaked hands and bombs and death--he dreamt of the stars.

He dreamt of flying among them, and far flung planets, of exploring a world where his name would mean something.

He traced constellations in the sky and carefully applied stickers to his ceiling, and told Jarvis that he would be the first man to walk on Mars.

When Tony was young--the stars were beautiful, a constant, untouched by his father.

When Tony was young--he loved the stars.

~*~

In a cave in Afghanistan, he thought--I’ll die here.

He thought--I never saw the stars.

He thought--I will die buried by rocks, far away from everyone I love and the light of stars.

And he thought-- _fuck that._

~*~

Sometimes, in his suit--he dreamt of it, still. Of leaving behind the messy planet that held so much destruction, so much of _his_ destruction, and drifting into the stars.

He wanted to. Mark XII was space-flight capable, but--there was Rhodey and Pepper, and all the small things Ironman could do still.

He watched them, sometimes, flying across the ocean, high above the clouds. Watched the stars glittering down at him and thought, _one day._

~*~

After New York--his dreams turned to nightmares.

He stopped watching the stars, and stopped dreaming of them, and for the first time in his life--he feared them and all the cold secrets they held.

~*~

He stares at Peter, on the bridge of an alien spaceship, stars sprawled around them--and he feels sick.

He remembers, wanting to fly among the stars.

He remembers, Peter talking about NASA and their missions to Mars and far flung satellites and--he can see it, the badly hidden glee in the boy’s eyes.

He turns away, tears burning in his eyes and terror churning in his gut and he _hates_ them, hates the stars for being so cruel and unending.

~*~

“I’m going to take you home,” he promises. Peter is asleep against his shoulder, exhaustion and boredom and an unending flight lulling him to dreams. “The stars can’t have you.”

Peter sighs a little, presses closer, and Tony shakes with fear.

~*~

Peter dies, crumbles into nothing in his arms, and cruel cold stars of a foreign planet gleam down at him and his grief.

~*~

Nebula bullies him into moving, bullies him into repairing the ship, forces medicine down his throat and food in his belly and he realizes--he won’t die here.

He sits next to her, and says, “I wish I could.”

Nebula is quiet, and her hand is gentle on his wrist, when he cries for the boy he couldn’t save.

~*~

They drift, drift, drift, through endless stars and he dies, by slow degrees, and he thinks--this is a fitting grave, for me.

A place I loved and feared and hated.

A place I shared with Peter.

He thinks--if we both die in the stars, we’ll be closer together. Spacedust swept between stars, forever.

He thinks--that wouldn’t be so bad.

He falls asleep, a smile on his lips, and the stars in his eyes.

~*~

When he was young--Tony loved the stars.

And then he feared them, and all their deadly secrets.

It felt only right, to drift into them and hate them and welcome their cold cold embrace.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on [Tumblr](http://www.areiton.tumblr.com)


End file.
